i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
