and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
