So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
