have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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