Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
