discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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