C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
