we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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