My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
