I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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