i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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