also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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