just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
