And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
