We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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