that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
