I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
