There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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