I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize