She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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