i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize