are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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