This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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