Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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