thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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