I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
