shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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