it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
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I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
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Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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