He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
