3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
