so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
