6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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