Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize