you turned your livingroom into a bong?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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