i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
