farters have to be the big spoon...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
