before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
