she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
