well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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