So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
