I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
