I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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