either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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