I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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