Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
