i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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