I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
