i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
