Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
