1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
being pregnant is like rehab
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
