TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
