We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
handjob tips. give me some.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
