it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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