This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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