My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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