I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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