I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
