Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
love makes seman taste better
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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