My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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