Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
