I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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