It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
