I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
