the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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