I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
