Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
